I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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