YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
