I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
