i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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