I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize