Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
