just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
