Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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