she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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