beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize