Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
