I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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