I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.