and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole