The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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