It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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