i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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