So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
