I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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