I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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