i was born a porn star she said
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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