I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
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She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
did you just send me my own nude
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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