I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize