Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize