Your dad touched me again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
