I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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