Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
