how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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