i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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