even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
