dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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