When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
