i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
