she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
