Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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