is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
