Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
handjob tips. give me some.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
