I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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