don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
