That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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