Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
