I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
