I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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