you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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