I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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