Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
