I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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