Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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