Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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