i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
