I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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