yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
