she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
