You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
