Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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