North Korea, Best Korea!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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