Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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