He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
