Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize