Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
