her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
