she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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