it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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