Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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